Weekly Rassling Rundown 26 – 28 Feb

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Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • The heavily edited recap of Ronda Rousey’s WWE signing at Elimination Chamber turned a disaster into something half-decent.
  • Alexa Bliss’ sh*t talking on the microphone never gets old.
  • Not sure why but after teaming up with Alexa last week, Mickie James is now best friends with the Raw Women’s Champion again.
  • Asuka and Alexa’s colour scheme makes them look like a tag team.
  • If people thought Alexa speaking slowly to Asuka so she can understand her was racist, they clearly didn’t see Jinder Mahal’s cringeworthy, blatant racist promos towards Shinsuke Nakamura.
  • Bayley and Sasha Banks come out to save Asuka from a beatdown. Yes, even after being betrayed multiple times by Sasha, Bayley is still her friend. I couldn’t agree more with Johnathan Coachman when he suggested Bayley might have short-term memory loss. It’s the only way to justify Bayley’s stupidity at this point.
  • “Some may say the ladies stole the show (Elimination Chamber) last night!” Michael Cole remarked. No… They didn’t.
  • Bayley hopping off the ring apron to deny Sasha the tag was perfect. The crowd loved it. Even I applauded her. Looks like she might not have short-time memory loss after all.
  • This 6-Women Tag Team Match was a lot better than the 6-Women Elimination Chamber match.
  • Did you know WWE Elimination Chamber had more social media activity than the Winter Olympics Closing Ceremony? Really? That’s amazing. Did you also know that no one cares about the Winter Olympics because it’s not the actual Olympics?
  • “Guys, I’ve never seen John Cena look so distraught in all the years I’ve known him,” Michael Cole said as John Cena happily ran down to the ring like he always does.
  • Cena’s so desperate to get into WrestleMania he wanted to face the Undertaker ten years too late. He then swerves everyone by telling them it isn’t happening. Thank God. Undertaker doesn’t need and shouldn’t have to wrestle anymore. His body can’t take it, plus you’d take away a win that Roman Reigns deserves. Then again Cena loves to outdo everyone, so it makes sense.
  • Cena’s plan to get into WrestleMania basically involves him telling Raw “screw you guys, I’m going over to SmackDown”.
  • Sadly, the between Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy isn’t over.
  • A second recap of Ronda Rousey’s contract signing played in case you didn’t see it the first time.
  • I loved The Miz’s promo about being told he “might” have a match at WrestleMania. His passion for being Intercontinental Champion and his anger for not being considered for WrestleMania was evident.
  • We get treated to a hell of a match between The Miz and Seth Rollins, then a hell of a match between The Miz and Finn Balor. Looks like a triple threat between the three for the Intercontinental Title at WrestleMania. Should be a hell of a match!
  • Roman Reigns’ promo on Brock Lesnar being a part-timer was great. It was so good the crowd was 100% behind him. This is going to rally everyone behind Roman when he (hopefully) dethrones Brock as champion.
  • Not only do we get The Bar vs Titus Worldwide again, we get to see them in a 2-out-of-3 Falls Match. Thank god The Bar beat them quickly 2-0.
  • As soon as Elias blinded Braun Strowman with a fire extinguisher, why did I immediately assume they’re going to have a Blind Fold Match at WrestleMania?
  • Ronda Rousey contract signing recap played for a THIRD GOD DAMN TIME!!! We get it! She’s in the WWE!
  • Stephanie McMahon said Kurt Angle was suffering from double pneumonia. Yes, double pneumonia. I know she was exaggerating but really?
  • Also, WWE have no problem keeping an employee around with pneumonia but will send anyone home who has viral meningitis.
  • Kurt apologised to Ronda and said he made everything up. Kurt said he’s desperate to keep his job. It must be costing him an arm and a leg to pay back Jason Jordan’s mother for all those years of owed child support.
  • Ronda looked sadder than Bayley.
  • Ronda demanded an apology from Stephanie for slapping her at Elimination Chamber. Ronda also threatened to rip Stephanie’s arm out of its socket if she didn’t get it. I’m not sure if that’s how you want to treat your new boss at your new workplace.
  • Triple H punched Kurt Angle and the segment ended. A very anticlimactic way to send both the segment and Raw.

 

Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • The Bludgeon Brothers have merged together to form John Cena. That, or someone is getting fired for accidently making the the Bludgeon Brothers graphic appear when Cena came out.
  • Cena demanded to have a shot at the WWE Championship at Fastlane even though he didn’t come to SmackDown “just for a handout”.
  • Shane McMahon came out to remind us we’re in Los Angeles.
  • Both Shane and Daniel Bryan agree to put the returning Cena in a match against WWE Champion AJ Styles on SmackDown. If Cena wins, he’s in the match. They really don’t want to see AJ Styles vs Shinsuke Nakamura at WrestleMania, do they?
  • Shane argued with Daniel over the fact Kevin Owens is doing commentary during the Baron Corbin/Sami Zayn match. This storyline is dragging out way too long and is starting to get annoying.
  • “Have you watched this match? It’s been awesome,” Daniel told Shane who walked away to get popcorn. I wouldn’t know if this match has been awesome since the cameras repeatedly cut away from the ring to the backstage.
  • Shane was fine with Dolph Ziggler interfering in the match and attacking all three men.
  • “Naomi is one of the most gifted athletes in the WWE,” Tom Phillips said right after Naomi jiggled her butt in Ruby Riott’s face.
  • The backstage segment promoting this “Unsolved” show was bad. Not even the Fashion Files could save it.
  • The fact the Usos have never been on WrestleMania in the past six years is shocking. They have more of a right to complain about not being on WrestleMania than Cena has a right to complain about potentially missing his first WrestleMania in fifteen years.
  • The lack of Shinsuke Nakamura (again) disturbs me.
  • The lack of Rusev Day (AGAIN) disturbs me more.
  • Shinsuke Nakamura vs Aiden English with Rusev in his corner. Seriously, it’s like someone from WWE was reading my blog and didn’t want me to be disturbed anymore.
  • If WWE are really reading this blog, the appearance of John Cena on all future WWE shows, including WrestleMania, disturbs me.
  • AJ and Cena had another good match though this one wasn’t as good as their previous. Cena was sloppy and screwed up some of his moves. But it’s ok, because Cena is now going to have another shot at another major championship!
  • Seriously, how the F@#$ have the Usos never had a WrestleMania match in six years?!

 

NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…
  • The recap of Johnny Gargano and Andrade “Cien” Almas was amazing. Hats off to the person who put the package together.
  • Velveteen Dream vs. Tyler Bate was just as good as I thought it would be.
  • I feel like I need to have a cigarette every time Adam Cole (BAY BAY) nails his perfect super kicks. The only other time I feel like I need to have a cigarette when watching wrestling is when Finn Balor tenses his body showing off his stupidly perfect ten-pack.
  • I loved the Street Profits interviewing themselves on the street while pretending to be random people. Funny stuff.
  • Not sure what I disliked more about the women’s match: Shayna Baszler no selling Kairi Sane’s offence, or the fact Baszler made Kairi tap out.
  • Seriously, stop giving Almas the microphone. He isn’t good. Just let Zelina Vega do all the talking.
  • Aleister Black vs Killian Dain should be a pretty good match.

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

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